Kanye West isn’t scared of having another breakdown like the one that left him hospitalized in November 2016, even though at the time he thought he was going to die.
“The moment when you’re in a hospital bed and you’re next to your friend and you tell them, ‘Don’t let this person leave my side,’ and they put you inside of an elevator and take all your friends away from you? That was the scariest moment of my life,” West, 40, told Charlamagne tha God in a wide-ranging interviewreleased Tuesday. “I thought I was going to get killed.”
“My wife wasn’t in town, so I told [my friends], ‘Don’t leave my side until my wife gets here.’ And they have this moment where they’re forced to leave your side, and that has to change … I can’t express to you how traumatizing that moment is, and then you wake up drugged the f—k out.”
West explained that the breakdown was a result of exhaustion from touring, as well as stress and “manipulation — being a pawn in a chess [game] of life,” and that he believed his competitive nature in his career, as well as the turmoil surrounding wife Kim Kardashian‘s harrowing robbery just one month earlier, took its toll on him psychologically.
He noted that since the incident, he and Kardashian, 37, no longer keep art, jewelry or money anywhere that their three children may be staying.
“I think I’m in a stronger place than I ever was after the breakdown, or as I like to call it ‘the breakthrough,’” he said. “I’m happy [the breakdown] happened. I’m happy to have gone to the other side and back.”
West revealed that he is currently on medication, though he wouldn’t specify which drugs he’d been prescribed, saying only, “[Medication is] an imperfect solution to just calm me down, but there are a lot of ways to calm down.”
Despite his psychological struggles, West has yet to see an actual therapist to cope.
“I use the world as my therapist,” he said. “Anyone I talk to is my therapist. I will pull them into the conversation of what I’m feeling at that point and get their perspective. … I like just talking to acquaintances, friends, family, and I keep them on the phone for 45 minutes at a time, talking through things. It’s kind of narcissistic.”
Culled from Page