Breakups are tough. First comes the realisation that you are no longer in a relationship, then there comes the agonising “what to do next” question. The feeling gets easier over time but, until then, here are some common mistakes that newly-single people should avoid making.
1. Don’t hold it in
You may experience grief and other painful feelings, but holding it in is more self-destructive than productive. Open up about your feelings to your friends or family. Write about it, cry, exercise or find a good shrink.
2. Do not get dramatic
Yes, it hurts, but your life is not over. Look on the bright side: this is a new opportunity to bring excitement and newness to your life. Find new activities and people to enrich your life or find something that interests you to get into.
3. Don’t assign blame
“It’s not me, it’s him.” Instead of putting blame on your ex, find other things to say. Try “we saw things differently” or “we had a good time, but things changed”. Not assigning blame, even if you feel they were at fault will help you in your healing process and get through the difficult situation more easily.
4. Analyse the breakup
It doesn’t matter if you broke up with your ex or they did the breaking up. You had a hand in the dissolution of your relationship. Analyse what didn’t work in the relationship and accept your part in it so that you can avoid those mistakes with your next love. Trust your decision to end it and keep going.
5. Don’t do nothing
Do something productive and useful. This will take over your time and keep you from obsessing over your ex. Try out something you’ve always wanted to do. Take up the hobby or sport you’ve always admired or volunteer somewhere. Just do something!